The Great Stomping

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Date observed & holiday substituted for

Held during the first week of April. Substitution for Easter and Spring Equinox.


This holiday celebrates the death of Wang Sorenson, the shanty-singing pirate of Tuvalu. Wang was murdered by the Elephant Mafia after he performed the Peanut Miracle at Boobyalla. According to the testament of his friends, he knew it was coming and spent the night before getting blistering drunk, loudly singing every obscene sea shanty he could think of, replacing every instance of "balls" with "elephants." In the morning, he stumbled into the town square and defiantly threw peanut shells onto the ground. An hour later, the hit was carried out and Wang Sorenson was crushed under the feet of a hit-elephant.

Traditions & rituals

The only agreed-upon traditions of The Great Stomping is beating an elephant-shaped pinata while yelling "elephant balls!" until it spills peanuts and peanut candy. This holiday is celebrated only by a breakaway Wangite sects known as Wanganese. The Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral and most Wangites do not recognize this holiday as it's "too depressing" and "not keeping in the spirit of Wang."

See The Index to Wang

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