Substitute Holidays - User contributions [en]

Orthodox Wangism

2024-09-19T20:30:07Z

Oddmin:

A form of [[Wangism]] that celebrates [[Wangzaah]] December 17-23 (depending on regional customs) instead of following the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]] gift-giving tradition held between December 25 and December 31. In every other respect, their traditions and beliefs are the same as other [[Wangite|Wangites]]. They do not follow the Miracle traditions because they claim Agnes was making everything up.

They call themselves [[Orthodox Wangites]], but often will refer to themselves simply as [[Wangite|Wangites]] when they don't feel like getting into a discussion about the validity of the Miracle.

Orthodox Wangism was founded by [[Amelia VonStrupp]], the youngest daughter of [[Agnes VonStrupp]].

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'''See [[The Index to Wang]]'''

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Wangzaah

2023-12-23T20:30:34Z

Oddmin:

[[File:wangshanties.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Singing traditional sea shanties in celebration of the Birth of Wang Sorenson.]]
Winter holiday known as Wangzaah, celebrated by followers of [[Wangism]].

=== Date observed & holiday substituted for ===

----

Held during the last week of [[December]], or the seven days culminating somewhere around December 17-23 for [[Orthodox Wangism]].

=== Origins ===

----

The birth of [[Wang Sorenson]] is shrouded in a little bit of mystery. His mother, a Swedish princess by the name [[Ingemodh Sorenson]], was rendered infertile by the [[Great European Earwig Infestation of 693]]. That she was able to conceive at all was hailed as a great miracle and people from all over Polynesia regarded Wang as a Savior.

Wang was born sometime between 699 and 670, depending on which sea shanty is describing his deeds. While his birth was most likely in the late fall, an official decree from the [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] moved the date to December 17-23, depending on regional traditions, in order to more easily blend in with other regional holidays. Later events attributed to Wang have stretched this holiday to a week-long celebration.

In his 33 1/3 years on earth, Wang performed a great many deeds and miracles. These miracles have only strengthened his legacy as a messiah to the believers of Wang. While adherents will stridently claim he is a prophesied messiah, no one knows which prophecy foretold Wang's coming or what Wang's role is as messiah. ''"That is for Wang to know and us to ponder,"'' is one of the core beliefs of Wangism.

=== Traditions & rituals ===

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Traditions and rituals for celebrating the birth of Wang are widely varied depending on individual preference, family tradition, and cultural background. In past centuries, his birth was celebrated simply with the re-telling of his exploits and miracles, along with singing sea shanties in the town square, followed by a feast. After the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]] in 1142, week-long gift giving was added by [[Reform Wangism]] in celebration of Wang's generosity.

Family togetherness is an important part of celebrating the birth of Wang. People who have no family or nowhere to go get ritually adopted by other families during the holiday. They are treated just like regular members of the family and expected to pitch in with chores, cooking the feast, and singing sea shanties. In return, they get all the love, support, and gifts they would expect if they were able to be home with their own families. This tradition of adoption has made [[Wangism]] one of the fastest-growing religions in the world among college students.

Followers wish each other a "Wonderful Wangzaah."

==== Traditional cuisine ====

There is no set "rule" about what to eat during the Wangzaah feast, as cuisine is largely determined by cultural and local preferences.

North American celebrants generally mimic the Thanksgiving feast, though it varies by country. Canadian [[Wangite|Wangites]] include lots of poutine, as Wang was known to laugh upon hearing the word (Laughter is considered one of the most important aspects of [[Wangism]]). Wangites in Mexico serve traditional local and regional fare, but always with tamales in adherence with the [[Miracle of Tamaulipas]].

In Western Europe where Wangism is more common, celebrants lean towards strudel and wurst. This is largely due to one of the legends of Wang depicting his declaration that these food items were:

''"Fun to say and damn delicious."''

All Wangites, regardless of denomination or place of origin, agree that tacos, some type of pie, and copious amounts of fizzy drinks are essential to the Wangzaah feast, as long as everyone celebrates safely and with designated drivers.

The Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral previously required that the traditional [[Wangzaah Night]] ceremony be conducted with waffle fries and kompot. However, this requirement was removed in 1853 when [[Bishop Snedlditetikasi]] wrote a lovely letter to the editor recommending against it. The Wangzaah Night ceremony is now conducted with a variety of hors d'oeuvres to accommodate individual preferences and dietary requirements.

==== Decorations ====

Most [[Wangite|Wangites]] and [[Wangian | Wangians]] put up some sort of decoration starting the first week of December. It is generally frowned upon to put up decorations earlier than December 1st and any follower who does so will receive the traditional rebuke from other followers. The rebuke starts with a "tsk tsk" noise, is followed by a shaking of the head, a deep sigh, and the traditional chant:

''"Next year, you'll start putting up Wang decorations in July!"''

Similarly, decorations must be taken down by January 2 or else the follower will receive another traditional rebuke. It is similar to the above rebuke, but with a different traditional chant and spoken in an incredulous accent:

''"You aren't going to leave those decorations up until July, now are ya?"''

As with the traditions and rituals, decoration varies wildly depending on individual preference, family tradition, and cultural background. Many Wangites install a large plant as the basis of their decoration. A plant is used because it represents a symbol of life, which in the Northern Hemisphere, helps to ward off the death after harvest. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is to promote bountiful life in summer. Trees are frequently chosen as the plant, with pine and ficus being the most popular. Bamboo and bonsai plants are favored in those with smaller homes, especially studio apartment dwellers. Artificial and potted plants are encouraged over cut plants and trees. The cut plants and trees generate waste outside of areas where they can be returned to nature to decompose naturally and Wangites generally do not wish to burden municipal solid waste departments. Artificial plants are reusable and do not require year-round care, which can benefit those who have bad luck keeping plants alive. Those who choose potted plants often will use the same plant until it gets too big for their home. After one last Wangzaah celebration, the family will ritually retire the plant to the back yard, forest, or golf course brush where it will live out the remainder of its life in the wild. Followers believe this is "keeping in the true spirit of Wang." This ceremony may also be performed every year and is favored among Wangites who enjoy gardening.

Trees and plants are often decorated with shiny baubles, cheerful toys, and other such ornaments that please the follower and are keeping in the true spirit of Wang. Slices of wood, plastic medallions, and glass balls decorated with sea shanties, dirty jokes, and jaunty pirate hats are popular decorations. Some superstitions say that the more arbitrary the decorations on a tree or plant, the more Wang's lucky countenance will shine down. One of the most popular decorations are [[wishing balls]]. The wishing balls are a pair of hollow glass balls with removable tops. Wishes or prayers to Wang are placed into the first ball and dirty jokes or naughty limericks are placed in the second ball to "balance it out."

In lieu of, or often with, trees and potted plants, many followers install a series of decorated candles, often hand-painted with scenes from Wang's miracles. Starting on the evening of December 24, a new Wang candle will be lit on the fireplace mantle. This practice is most popular with Reform Wangism, as it coincides with their beliefs in the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]]. As LED candles have become more readily available, Wangites are encouraged to switch to those from traditional candles, which may pose fire hazards when left burning overnight.

With the advent of electricity, colored lighting became another popular decoration in [[Wangite]] households, especially lighted decorations in unusual or geometric shapes. Many Wangites will fashion a wire frame wrapped with lights, usually in the shape of a circle, star, trapezoid, or Wang.

==== Gift-giving ====

In accordance with the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]], starting on the evening of December 24, followers of [[Reform Wangism]] place a [[feathered stick]] on their fireplace hearth. Followers without fireplaces may place the stick on the coffee table or entertainment center. The next morning, a gift will be found next to the stick. Followers do this until the morning of December 31st. Depending on family size, financial status, and individual [[Wangite]] preference, anywhere from a single gift for one person or a gift for each family member will be found the next morning. This gift-giving tradition is to symbolize Wang's spirit returning to earth in [[Agnes VonStrupp]]'s time of need.

[[Orthodox Wangites]] do not follow this tradition as they claim Agnes VonStrupp was making it all up. They follow the traditional gift-giving day of December 17-23, depending on regional customs. On each of the first six days, followers gift one other person with something intangible or charitable. This can be something as simple as a hug, a helpful suggestion, or be a larger gift such as helping another person move into a new apartment. Gifts given on the first six days must not be transactional; they cannot have been purchased or be physical objects. Exceptions are made if a follower choses to spend their day's gift on something charitable, such as providing a meal to someone who is hungry.

At the end of each of the first six days, followers identify the gift given to them that day by Wang. These gifts are also intangible and charitable by nature. Wang may gift someone with a friendly interaction between neighbors, permission to slack off, their favorite movie coming on the television, or good news about a promotion. These gifts are acknowledged as not necessarily being caused by Wang Sorenson, as Wang does not have that kind of power in death. Rather, these gifts are about acknowledging good fortune and small moments of happiness.

On the seventh day, followers give physical gifts to others. A follower should not give multiple gifts to the same person; one gift given per person is considered to be more keeping in the spirit of Wang. Physical gifts are also optional, as the seventh day of gifts was added later in an effort to blend in with the local customs of other religions.

==== Traditional sea shanties ====

(Temporarily removed until the matter of lewd lyrics in an all-ages wiki can be resolved.)

==== The Rather Irritating Wangzaa vs. Wangzaah Name Debate ====

In recent times, new evidence has been uncovered that points to Wangzaa having been misspelled all these centuries. Scholars from the [[Wangite School of Pharmacy]] in Turkey reported that there was a minor mis-translation in one of Wang's original letters to his parents. [[Wang's pidgin]] has been a topic of mostly idle curiosity, as most Wangites are fine with reading the translations provided by the Wangite School of Pharmacy. In the letter, Wang discusses his new bride and uses an ogonek while referencing persimmons. As persimmon is one of the roots of Wangzaah, the holiday's name must be updated for accurate spelling.

The report has resulted in some division. Most Wangites are okay with the name change, but strident opponents, almost entirely comprised of holiday goods suppliers and monogram services, have been vocal about not adopting the change. In their words:

''"What are we going to do with all this leftover stock?"''

Opponents of the name change are pushing to forget the whole matter, while the [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] has already declared "Wangzaah" as the proper canonical spelling unless new documents surface that retcons the whole deal.

Unsurprisingly, Wangites are more interested in the [[Wangzaah Name Debate]] than they are the revelation that Wang was married. When asked, most Wangites say:

''"What's the big deal? A lot of people get married."''

Most Wangites usually state that they hope the scholars at the Wangite School of Pharmacy discover her name because it's awkward to keep referring to her as "[[Wang's unknown, but probably quite lovely, wife]]."

==== The Not Entirely Unexpected But Briefly Disruptive Wangzaah Pronunciation Debate ====

Not long after the discovery of the ogonek mis-translation that changed the canonical spelling of Wangzaah, scholars at the [[Wangite School of Pharmacy]] uncovered a previously unknown cache of letters between Wang and [[his closest friends | Wang's closest friends]]. After forensic investigation revealed the letters to be authentic, scholars discovered these letters were a trove of information on [[Wang's pidgin]]. New words had to be translated and after years of study, scholars announced the presence of an umlaut in a passage about a local walnut festival.

Wang had not been known to use umlauts before, so this resulted in some pronunciation changes in the religion's lexicon. Most of these changes were administrative and had little bearing on daily life. However, one such change resulted in the loss of the hard "zee" of "Wangzaah" to be changed to a softer sound with added "sh," similar to the gee of "orange" or the jay of "juice." In addition, the "aah," was pronounced more like "uhh." This resulted in the new pronunciation "Wang-zshuh."

Wangites were not surprised by a pronunciation change, as many of Wang's writings did not include a pronunciation guide to his pidgin. However, many found it difficult to adapt to the change and brief, but heated arguments erupted over which was correct. When a consensus had finally been reached among Wangite scholars and community members, a bishop (who prefers anonymity) reignited the argument by asking

''"Do we have to change from "aah" to "uhh" or is this a tomato-tomahto thing?"''

Eventually, the [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] intervened and decreed that the canonical pronunciation would be "Wang-zshuh" though people may continue to use "Wang-zshah" or "Wang-zaah" as a pronunciation as they wish, because it could be impossible to determine if someone was intentionally mis-pronouncing Wangzaah or of they simply had a different type of accent. Though an addendum stated it would be nice for people to try and remember to soften the "zee" out of respect for Wang's pidgin.

Discussion about changing the spelling from Wangzaah to Wangzshuh or Wangjuh was dismissed as unnecessary. The current spelling aligns with Wang's own writings and as the difference in "aah" vs "uhh" proves, accents exist. The holiday goods suppliers and monograms servicers were relieved.

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'''See [[The Index to Wang]]'''

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Wangzaah

2023-12-23T19:50:07Z

Oddmin: clarified dates and gift giving traditions

Site Updates

2023-12-08T07:08:52Z

Oddmin: Created page with "It's been a while since we've updated this site. There's a lot of content we just haven't gotten around to updating due to pandemic disruptions and day jobs. 2023-12-08: Mov..."

It's been a while since we've updated this site. There's a lot of content we just haven't gotten around to updating due to pandemic disruptions and day jobs.

2023-12-08: Moved site info content to its own page, some minor content edits

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Main Page

2023-12-08T07:05:49Z

Oddmin:

== Welcome to the Substitute Holidays Wiki ==

Do you find yourself frustrated with the holidays? Do you not celebrate [[Christmas]], [[Hanukkah]], [[Kwanzaa]], or [[Solstice|Winter Solstice]], but still want to take part in the winter festivities? Are you not religious, but still want to be included in the annual gift-giving celebration? Are you just visiting the US during the [[Fourth of July]], but still like the idea of backyard barbecuing with friends? Are you religious, but feel a need for a secular option? Do you like the idea of [[Thanksgiving]], but not the hype? Do you loathe [[Columbus Day]], but still want an excuse to enjoy a day off work? Are you looking for a new tradition? Do you just not like the majorly celebrated holidays?

Whatever the reason, SubstituteHolidays is here to serve. Within these pages, you'll find holiday substitutions, their history, traditions, rituals, and everything you need to take part in a celebration without celebrating what everyone else is celebrating. Whether you feel like celebrating the birth of [[Wang Sorenson]] or partaking in [[Chartreuse Tuesday]] shopping, you'll find it here!

Further information [[About This Website]].

=== Quick Index: ===

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* [[Holidays by Month]]
* [[Holidays by Season]]
* [[Substituted Holidays]] - Classics like Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc
* [[Holiday List]] - List of holiday substitutes A-Z
* [[The Index to Wang]]

[[Site Updates]]

Main Page

2023-12-08T07:05:33Z

Oddmin:

About This Website

2023-12-08T07:01:14Z

Oddmin:

This website started as a tongue-in-cheek response to being a non-Christian living in the United States while being inundated with Christian and culturally-problematic holidays. Once the website got started, we realized that to us, it was more than just a collection of secular and alternative holidays: it was an exploration of the cultural and religious history and meanings behind what the holidays are.

This is a fancy way of saying that we take this site seriously. Much of it is still very much tongue-in-cheek, as many holidays submitted to us over the years often lean that way.

On this website, you may see references to listed holidays being a substitute for other holidays, including religious holidays (that is the name of the website!). This is not intended to belittle or downplay the importance of those other holidays to those who practice them. This is not intended to portray holidays as something that can jokingly be discarded or swapped out at a whim.

The idea of SubstituteHolidays is for those people who don't fit in to the cultural paradigm where they may live. The neopagan in the conservative Christian town, the atheist and agnostic who feel pressure to celebrate holidays they don't believe in, the questioner trying to find something new while maintaining ties with family and friends, the person who has a moral objection to celebrating holidays that herald the onset of colonialist expansion and genocide.

In a perfect world, someone could say they don't celebrate Thanksgiving and no one would bat an eye. This is not that world. This is a world where someone may have to blend in to preserve their social and career standings. This is a world where it's easier to say "We celebrate [[30 Days Hath November]] instead of Thanksgiving" because that can be more accepted than just not celebrating it. This is a world where people have to find other reasons to attend holiday parties and gatherings because not going isn't an option (Source: Our experiences every time we try to abstain from celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving while living in proximity to very strong-willed family members who do).

== The Case of Christmas ==

Christmas is assumed to be the default holiday setting in December and those who do not celebrate it are often dismissed, ignored, erased, or forced to conform. Much of the trappings of Christmas are viewed by Christians as being secular if those things do not tie directly to Jesus Christ. However, not even a holly-flocked pine garland adorned with sparkly lights and a big red bow is immune from being religious imagery. Consider this: when you picture that garland, what is the first holiday that comes to mind? Hint: it's not Arbor Day.

Christmas, despite the unrelenting commercialization of it, ''is'' a religious holiday. All the decorations, Secret Santa gift exchanges, stockings, and festive lights are religious by their nature. This is the case even if when atheist celebrates Christmas.

Arguments can be made that Christians stole certain things from early pagans; the Christmas tree is one oft-quoted. While that may be true, centuries of appropriation have changed the cultural coding of that tree. When you see a tree dressed in shiny ornaments and lights, especially in December, what is the first holiday that comes to mind? Hint: it's also not Arbor Day.

What if you change the decorations? What if you decorate your tree with bats and spiderwebs and tombstones and purple lights? That cultural connection is so strong that the reaction upon seeing the tree is "Look at that interesting Halloween-themed Christmas tree!" Even if that Halloween-themed tree is put up for October 31, it is still a Halloween-themed ''Christmas'' tree.

Trying to brush off Christmas decorations, music, and imagery as secular because the pagans had it first, or Jesus isn't referenced, or the people celebrating aren't Christian does not make those things any less religious than they are. Inviting a non-Christian or non-Christmas practicing friend to your Christmas dinner does not make it less religious, even if you do not personally believe Jesus was the son of god. Think about someone from another faith inviting you to a ceremonial dinner of their religion. Would you consider that to be secular?

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

About This Website

2023-12-08T07:00:57Z

Oddmin: moved site info content to its own page

== About This Website ==

This website started as a tongue-in-cheek response to being a non-Christian living in the United States while being inundated with Christian and culturally-problematic holidays. Once the website got started, we realized that to us, it was more than just a collection of secular and alternative holidays: it was an exploration of the cultural and religious history and meanings behind what the holidays are.

This is a fancy way of saying that we take this site seriously. Much of it is still very much tongue-in-cheek, as many holidays submitted to us over the years often lean that way.

On this website, you may see references to listed holidays being a substitute for other holidays, including religious holidays (that is the name of the website!). This is not intended to belittle or downplay the importance of those other holidays to those who practice them. This is not intended to portray holidays as something that can jokingly be discarded or swapped out at a whim.

The idea of SubstituteHolidays is for those people who don't fit in to the cultural paradigm where they may live. The neopagan in the conservative Christian town, the atheist and agnostic who feel pressure to celebrate holidays they don't believe in, the questioner trying to find something new while maintaining ties with family and friends, the person who has a moral objection to celebrating holidays that herald the onset of colonialist expansion and genocide.

In a perfect world, someone could say they don't celebrate Thanksgiving and no one would bat an eye. This is not that world. This is a world where someone may have to blend in to preserve their social and career standings. This is a world where it's easier to say "We celebrate [[30 Days Hath November]] instead of Thanksgiving" because that can be more accepted than just not celebrating it. This is a world where people have to find other reasons to attend holiday parties and gatherings because not going isn't an option (Source: Our experiences every time we try to abstain from celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving while living in proximity to very strong-willed family members who do).

== The Case of Christmas ==

Christmas is assumed to be the default holiday setting in December and those who do not celebrate it are often dismissed, ignored, erased, or forced to conform. Much of the trappings of Christmas are viewed by Christians as being secular if those things do not tie directly to Jesus Christ. However, not even a holly-flocked pine garland adorned with sparkly lights and a big red bow is immune from being religious imagery. Consider this: when you picture that garland, what is the first holiday that comes to mind? Hint: it's not Arbor Day.

Christmas, despite the unrelenting commercialization of it, ''is'' a religious holiday. All the decorations, Secret Santa gift exchanges, stockings, and festive lights are religious by their nature. This is the case even if when atheist celebrates Christmas.

Arguments can be made that Christians stole certain things from early pagans; the Christmas tree is one oft-quoted. While that may be true, centuries of appropriation have changed the cultural coding of that tree. When you see a tree dressed in shiny ornaments and lights, especially in December, what is the first holiday that comes to mind? Hint: it's also not Arbor Day.

What if you change the decorations? What if you decorate your tree with bats and spiderwebs and tombstones and purple lights? That cultural connection is so strong that the reaction upon seeing the tree is "Look at that interesting Halloween-themed Christmas tree!" Even if that Halloween-themed tree is put up for October 31, it is still a Halloween-themed ''Christmas'' tree.

Trying to brush off Christmas decorations, music, and imagery as secular because the pagans had it first, or Jesus isn't referenced, or the people celebrating aren't Christian does not make those things any less religious than they are. Inviting a non-Christian or non-Christmas practicing friend to your Christmas dinner does not make it less religious, even if you do not personally believe Jesus was the son of god. Think about someone from another faith inviting you to a ceremonial dinner of their religion. Would you consider that to be secular?

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Main Page

2023-12-08T06:19:27Z

Oddmin:

Wangzaah

2023-12-08T06:18:10Z

Oddmin: Corrected dates, clarified traditions, added translation debate event, removed references to other religious holidays

[[File:wangshanties.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Singing traditional sea shanties in celebration of the Birth of Wang Sorenson.]]
Winter holiday known as Wangzaah, celebrated by followers of [[Wangism]].

=== Date observed & holiday substituted for ===

----

Held during the last week of [[December]], or December 17-23 for [[Orthodox Wangism]].

=== Origins ===

----

The birth of [[Wang Sorenson]] is shrouded in a little bit of mystery. His mother, a Swedish princess by the name [[Ingemodh Sorenson]], was rendered infertile by the [[Great European Earwig Infestation of 693]]. That she was able to conceive at all was hailed as a great miracle and people from all over Polynesia regarded Wang as a Savior.

Wang was born sometime between 699 and 670, depending on which sea shanty is describing his deeds. While his birth was most likely in the late fall, an official decree from the [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] moved the date to December 17-23, depending on regional traditions, in order to more easily blend in with other regional holidays. Later events attributed to Wang have stretched this holiday to a week-long celebration.

In his 33 1/3 years on earth, Wang performed a great many deeds and miracles. These miracles have only strengthened his legacy as a messiah to the believers of Wang. While adherents will stridently claim he is a prophesied messiah, no one knows which prophecy foretold Wang's coming or what Wang's role is as messiah. ''"That is for Wang to know and us to ponder,"'' is one of the core beliefs of Wangism.

=== Traditions & rituals ===

----

Traditions and rituals for celebrating the birth of Wang are widely varied depending on individual preference, family tradition, and cultural background. In past centuries, his birth was celebrated simply with the re-telling of his exploits and miracles, along with singing sea shanties in the town square, followed by a feast. After the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]] in 1142, week-long gift giving was added by [[Reform Wangism]] in celebration of Wang's generosity.

Family togetherness is an important part of celebrating the birth of Wang. People who have no family or nowhere to go get ritually adopted by other families during the holiday. They are treated just like regular members of the family and expected to pitch in with chores, cooking the feast, and singing sea shanties. In return, they get all the love, support, and gifts they would expect if they were able to be home with their own families. This tradition of adoption has made [[Wangism]] one of the fastest-growing religions in the world among college students.

Followers wish each other a "Wonderful Wangzaah."

==== Traditional cuisine ====

There is no set "rule" about what to eat during the Wangzaah feast, as cuisine is largely determined by cultural and local preferences.

North American celebrants generally mimic the Thanksgiving feast, though it varies by country. Canadian [[Wangite|Wangites]] include lots of poutine, as Wang was known to laugh upon hearing the word (Laughter is considered one of the most important aspects of [[Wangism]]). Wangites in Mexico serve traditional local and regional fare, but always with tamales in adherence with the [[Miracle of Tamaulipas]].

In Western Europe where Wangism is more common, celebrants lean towards strudel and wurst. This is largely due to one of the legends of Wang depicting his declaration that these food items were:

''"Fun to say and damn delicious."''

All Wangites, regardless of denomination or place of origin, agree that tacos, some type of pie, and copious amounts of fizzy drinks are essential to the Wangzaah feast, as long as everyone celebrates safely and with designated drivers.

The Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral previously required that the traditional [[Wangzaah Night]] ceremony be conducted with waffle fries and kompot. However, this requirement was removed in 1853 when [[Bishop Snedlditetikasi]] wrote a lovely letter to the editor recommending against it. The Wangzaah Night ceremony is now conducted with a variety of hors d'oeuvres to accommodate individual preferences and dietary requirements.

==== Decorations ====

Most [[Wangite|Wangites]] and [[Wangian | Wangians]] put up some sort of decoration starting the first week of December. It is generally frowned upon to put up decorations earlier than December 1st and any follower who does so will receive the traditional rebuke from other followers. The rebuke starts with a "tsk tsk" noise, is followed by a shaking of the head, a deep sigh, and the traditional chant:

''"Next year, you'll start putting up Wang decorations in July!"''

Similarly, decorations must be taken down by January 2 or else the follower will receive another traditional rebuke. It is similar to the above rebuke, but with a different traditional chant and spoken in an incredulous accent:

''"You aren't going to leave those decorations up until July, now are ya?"''

As with the traditions and rituals, decoration varies wildly depending on individual preference, family tradition, and cultural background. Many Wangites install a large plant as the basis of their decoration. A plant is used because it represents a symbol of life, which in the Northern Hemisphere, helps to ward off the death after harvest. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is to promote bountiful life in summer. Trees are frequently chosen as the plant, with pine and ficus being the most popular. Bamboo and bonsai plants are favored in those with smaller homes, especially studio apartment dwellers. Artificial and potted plants are encouraged over cut plants and trees. The cut plants and trees generate waste outside of areas where they can be returned to nature to decompose naturally and Wangites generally do not wish to burden municipal solid waste departments. Artificial plants are reusable and do not require year-round care, which can benefit those who have bad luck keeping plants alive. Those who choose potted plants often will use the same plant until it gets too big for their home. After one last Wangzaah celebration, the family will ritually retire the plant to the back yard, forest, or golf course brush where it will live out the remainder of its life in the wild. Followers believe this is "keeping in the true spirit of Wang." This ceremony may also be performed every year and is favored among Wangites who enjoy gardening.

Trees and plants are often decorated with shiny baubles, cheerful toys, and other such ornaments that please the follower and are keeping in the true spirit of Wang. Slices of wood, plastic medallions, and glass balls decorated with sea shanties, dirty jokes, and jaunty pirate hats are popular decorations. Some superstitions say that the more arbitrary the decorations on a tree or plant, the more Wang's lucky countenance will shine down. One of the most popular decorations are [[wishing balls]]. The wishing balls are a pair of hollow glass balls with removable tops. Wishes or prayers to Wang are placed into the first ball and dirty jokes or naughty limericks are placed in the second ball to "balance it out."

In lieu of, or often with, trees and potted plants, many followers install a series of decorated candles, often hand-painted with scenes from Wang's miracles. Starting on the evening of December 24, a new Wang candle will be lit on the fireplace mantle. This practice is most popular with Reform Wangism, as it coincides with their beliefs in the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]]. As LED candles have become more readily available, Wangites are encouraged to switch to those from traditional candles, which may pose fire hazards when left burning overnight.

With the advent of electricity, colored lighting became another popular decoration in [[Wangite]] households, especially lighted decorations in unusual or geometric shapes. Many Wangites will fashion a wire frame wrapped with lights, usually in the shape of a circle, star, trapezoid, or Wang.

==== Gift-giving ====

In accordance with the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]], starting on the evening of December 24, followers place a [[feathered stick]] on their fireplace hearth. Followers without fireplaces may place the stick on the coffee table or entertainment center. The next morning, a gift will be found next to the stick. Followers do this until the morning of December 31st. Depending on family size, financial status, and individual [[Wangite]] preference, anywhere from a single gift for one person or a gift for each family member will be found the next morning. This gift-giving tradition is to symbolize Wang's spirit returning to earth in [[Agnes VonStrupp]]'s time of need.

[[Orthodox Wangites]] do not follow this tradition as they claim Agnes VonStrupp was making it all up. They follow the traditional gift-giving day of December 17-23, depending on regional traditions.

==== Traditional sea shanties ====

(Temporarily removed until the matter of lewd lyrics in an all-ages wiki can be resolved.)

==== The Rather Irritating Wangzaa vs. Wangzaah Name Debate ====

In recent times, new evidence has been uncovered that points to Wangzaa having been misspelled all these centuries. Scholars from the [[Wangite School of Pharmacy]] in Turkey reported that there was a minor mis-translation in one of Wang's original letters to his parents. [[Wang's pidgin]] has been a topic of mostly idle curiosity, as most Wangites are fine with reading the translations provided by the Wangite School of Pharmacy. In the letter, Wang discusses his new bride and uses an ogonek while referencing persimmons. As persimmon is one of the roots of Wangzaah, the holiday's name must be updated for accurate spelling.

The report has resulted in some division. Most Wangites are okay with the name change, but strident opponents, almost entirely comprised of holiday goods suppliers and monogram services, have been vocal about not adopting the change. In their words:

''"What are we going to do with all this leftover stock?"''

Opponents of the name change are pushing to forget the whole matter, while the [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] has already declared "Wangzaah" as the proper canonical spelling unless new documents surface that retcons the whole deal.

Unsurprisingly, Wangites are more interested in the [[Wangzaah Name Debate]] than they are the revelation that Wang was married. When asked, most Wangites say:

''"What's the big deal? A lot of people get married."''

Most Wangites usually state that they hope the scholars at the Wangite School of Pharmacy discover her name because it's awkward to keep referring to her as "[[Wang's unknown, but probably quite lovely, wife]]."

==== The Not Entirely Unexpected But Briefly Disruptive Wangzaah Pronunciation Debate ====

Not long after the discovery of the ogonek mis-translation that changed the canonical spelling of Wangzaah, scholars at the [[Wangite School of Pharmacy]] uncovered a previously unknown cache of letters between Wang and [[his closest friends]]. After forensic investigation revealed the letters to be authentic, scholars discovered these letters were a trove of information on [[Wang's pidgin]]. New words had to be translated and after years of study, scholars announced the presence of an umlaut in a passage about a local walnut festival.

Wang had not been known to use umlauts before, so this resulted in some pronunciation changes in the religion's lexicon. Most of these changes were administrative and had little bearing on daily life. However, one such change resulted in the loss of the hard "zee" of "Wangzaah" to be changed to a softer sound with added "sh," similar to the gee of "orange" or the jay of "juice." In addition, the "aah," was pronounced more like "uhh." This resulted in the new pronunciation "Wang-zshuh."

Wangites were not surprised by a pronunciation change, as many of Wang's writings did not include a pronunciation guide to his pidgin. However, many found it difficult to adapt to the change and brief, but heated arguments erupted over which was correct. When a consensus had finally been reached among Wangite scholars and community members, a bishop (who prefers anonymity) reignited the argument by asking

''"Do we have to change from "aah" to "uhh" or is this a tomato-tomahto thing?"''

Eventually, the [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] intervened and decreed that the canonical pronunciation would be "Wang-zshuh" though people may continue to use "Wang-zshah" as a pronunciation as they wish, because it could be impossible to determine if someone was intentionally mis-pronouncing Wangzaah or of they simply had a different type of accent. Though an addendum stated it would be nice for people to try and remember to soften the "zee" out of respect for Wang's pidgin.

Discussion about changing the spelling from Wangzaah to Wangzshuh was dismissed as unnecessary. The current spelling aligns with Wang's own writings and as the difference in "aah" vs "uhh" proves, accents exist. The holiday goods suppliers and monograms servicers were relieved.

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'''See [[The Index to Wang]]'''

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

The Index to Wang

2021-07-11T19:48:08Z

Oddmin:

Here is a handy reference to everything relating to Wang.

=== People ===

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==== The Wangs/Sorensons ====

* [[Wang Sorenson]] - Religious figure.
* [[Ingemodh Sorenson]] - Mother of Wang Sorenson.
* [[Wang Hop]] - Father of Wang Sorenson.
* [[Wang Fu]] - Grandfather of Wang Sorenson, father of Wang Hop.
* [[Olafine Bjornsen]] - Aunt of Wang Sorenson, sister of Ingemodh Sorenson.
* [[Wang's unknown, but probably quite lovely, wife]] - Wife of Wang Sorenson.

==== The VonStrupps ====

* [[Agnes VonStrupp]] - Founder of Reform Wangism.
* [[Amelia VonStrupp]] - Agnes's youngest daughter, founder of Orthodox Wangism.
* [[Gunter VonStrupp]] - Agnes's eldest son, first bishop of Reform Wangism.
* [[Angie VonStrupp]] - Agnes's eldest daughter.

==== Others ====

* [[Bishop Snedlditetikasi | Bishop Asløg Snedlditetikasi]] - A Wangite bishop from Denmark who helped to reform the Wangzaah Night ceremony.
* [[Bishop Rosales]] - A Wangite bishop from Venezuela who was the Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral's Archivist in 1853.

==== Organizations ====

* [[Elephant Mafia]] - Criminal organization who murdered Wang Sorenson after the Peanut Miracle at Boobyalla.
* [[Holy Ingemodh Mother of Wang Cathedral]] - The ruling Wang church and governing body for all Wangism.
* [[Wangite School of Pharmacy]] - Wangism's premier research university, located in Turkey.
* [[Order of the Artichoke Dragon]] - An ancient order dedicated to community outreach and preserving Wangite culture.
* [[Knights of the Singing Flugelhorn]] - The organization dedicated to preserving Wangite music and sea shanties.
* [[Persimmon Junction]] - A Portuguese Wangite seminary established in 1636.
* [[The Wangite Quarterly]] - The journal where most Wangite scholarly research is published.

=== Sects ===

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* [[Wangism]] - Religion of those who follow Wang Sorenson.
* [[Reform Wangism]] - Largest branch of Wangism.
* [[Orthodox Wangism]] - Branch of Wangism that does not follow the Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp.
* [[Wanganese]] - Breakaway sect of Wangism that celebrates The Great Stomping.
* [[Wangite]] - Follower of Reform Wangism, sometimes refers to followers of Orthodox Wangism.
* [[Orthodox Wangite]] - Follower of Orthodox Wangism.
* [[Wangian]] - Follower of Wanganese.

=== Events ===

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* [[Great European Earwig Infestation of 693]] - A horrible event no one likes to talk about, rendered Wang's mother infertile.
* [[Wangzaah Name Debate]] - A slight schism among Wangites over a mistranslated ogonek.

=== Miracles ===

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* [[Peanut Miracle at Boobyalla]] - An event in which Wang Sorenson saved a town from financial ruin, directly led to his death at the feet of the Elephant Mafia.
* [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]] - An event in which Wang Sorenson's spirit delivered gifts to a financially-strapped widow.
* [[Miracle of His Lost Shoes]] - An event in which Wang Sorenson divined the location of his lost shoes.
* [[Miracle of Tamaulipas]] - An event in which Wang Sorenson procured enough tamales for all.

=== Holidays ===

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* [[Wangzaah]] - Holiday celebrated by all followers of Wangism based on the birth of Wang Sorenson.
** [[Wangzaah Night]] - Special Wangzaah ceremony performed on December 23.
* [[The Great Stomping]] - Holiday celebrated by Wanganese.

=== Miscellaneous ===

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* [[feathered stick]] - Stick used during the Reform Wangism ceremony during the Wangzaah holiday.
* [[wishing balls]] - A plant or tree decoration used during the Wangzaah holiday.
* [[sea shanties]] - The traditional hymns of Wangism.
* [[Wang's pidgin]] - The cryptic language Wang Sorenson used when writing letters and limericks.

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Angie VonStrupp

2021-07-11T19:40:28Z

Oddmin:

[[File:angie.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Angie did not like having her picture engraved.]] 

The first born of [[Agnes VonStrupp]]. She received the first gift during the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]].

=== Personal life ===

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Angie married early to an unnamed man in 1144. She had six children with her husband, who died in 1151. Angie conceived a seventh child in 1152 and was believed it was the spirit of Wang that led to her child's conception. Most [[Wangite | Wangites]] hailed the child as the second coming of [[Wang Sorenson | Wang]] until a seagull dropped a clam on the child's head, killing him instantly.

=== Beliefs in Reform Wangism ===

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Angie was a strident follower of [[Reform Wangism]] and would often taunt her youngest sister, [[Amelia VonStrupp]] the founder of [[Orthodox Wangism]] about her beliefs. In one piece of correspondence to her sister, Angie stated:

''"As you are not interested in gifts, I have decided to honor your request this year and will not be sending you a present. I could take the high road, unlike you dear sister, but I think my money is better spent on someone who believes in the true spirit of Wang."''

Amelia responded with "I think if anyone knows about ''wang'' around here, dear sister, it is you." This response enraged Angie, who never spoke to Amelia again.

=== Death ===

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Angie died from complications of syphilis in 1170.

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'''See [[The Index to Wang]]'''

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Amelia VonStrupp

2021-07-11T19:39:47Z

Oddmin:

[[File:amelia2.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Amelia studying plant biology at her Wangite convent.]] 

Amelia is the youngest daughter of [[Agnes VonStrupp]] and the founder of [[Orthodox Wangism]]. While her siblings believed the [[Miracle of Agnes VonStrupp]] was accurate as their mother reported, Amelia wasn't fooled. She was reportedly the smartest of her seven siblings and figured out that her mother simply exchanged sex for money. Agnes tried to bribe her daughter into silence, but as soon as Amelia was old enough, she moved out and told everyone her mother was making everything up. Amelia stated that there was nothing wrong with how her mother got her money, she simply resented that her mother lied about it because "such a lie is contrary to the spirit of Wang, as Wang was very open about sexuality." Only a small percentage of [[Wangite | Wangites]] listened to her as the rest had come to enjoy getting the extra gifts.

=== Charitable works ===

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Amelia devoted her life to helping underprivileged women. She amassed a great fortune through clever marketing skills and used her fortune to fund her many philanthropic works. She established a convent for at-risk teenagers and campaigned for the education of women of all classes. She also fought for the government regulation of the sex work industry in order to protect the lives of women and halt the spread of sexually-transmitted diseases.

=== Falling out with family ===

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As the sole [[Orthodox Wangite]] in the family, Amelia had a very strained relationship with her siblings. Her eldest brother, [[Gunter VonStrupp | Gunter]], was the first bishop of [[Reform Wangism]] and did not appreciate Amelia telling everyone the truth. Amelia usually responded by criticizing her brother for acting as if he was ashamed. Her eldest sister, [[Angie VonStrupp | Angie]], was particularly fond of making fun of Amelia's beliefs. In an infamous letter, Angie stated:

''"As you are not interested in gifts, I have decided to honor your request this year and will not be sending you a present. I could take the high road, unlike you dear sister, but I think my money is better spent on someone who believes in the true spirit of Wang."''

Amelia responded with "I think if anyone knows about ''wang'' around here, dear sister, it is you." This response enraged Angie, who never spoke to Amelia again. In a letter to a friend, Amelia stated she did not mind too much, as her sister was "a bit of a bitch." When her sister died from complications of syphilis, Amelia was reportedly disappointed that her sister had not learned from their mother's mistakes.

As one of the core beliefs of [[Wangism]] is to adopt persons without families during the [[Wangzaah]] holiday, Amelia had no shortage of loving friends and family.

=== Death ===

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Amelia died peacefully at the age of 73 in the Wangite convent she established. She left her great fortune and legacy to the convent in order to help educate young women about the dangers of unlicensed prostitution and the systemic oppression of women in sex work.

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'''See [[The Index to Wang]]'''

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Legend of Bunny Staplus

2021-07-11T19:27:04Z

Oddmin:

According to the holy texts, the Legend of [[Bunny Staplus]] is as follows:

<blockquote>''In Post 87 [[EdtheCabinet]] prophet of Bunny Staplus did say'' 
 
#''We’re not in Kansas anymore?''
#''(Who am I kidding, if the Rapture happened, I would so totally be one of the people left behind to raid all the taco Hells and re-colonize IKEA. So yeah, the zombies can wait until Easter. Remind me to stock up on [[bunny ears]] and staples.)''
#''THE ALPACA FLIES AT MIDNIGHT?''
#''…pation.'' 
 
''And the seed of the Staplus was planted. And the seed did take root in the mind of [[Justnet]] who then said “I just totally pictured you going around Ikea stapling bunny ears to random pieces of furniture.”'' 
 
''EdtheCabinet did reply: “(I was thinking zombies, but, you know, furniture should have ears, now that you mention it…)” and [[Rwest81]] did take up the [[Holy Stapler]] and produced [[this image]] for the delectation of the posters.'' 
 
''And the posters did mark the image as interesting, funny, agree, and love. And Justnet did protest that the chair was ugly, and that EdtheCabinet should not have begun stapling without her, and EdtheCabinet was sore upset that Justnet should have seen the chair, which was to have been her [[Cthulhumas]] present and disharmony did threaten the [[Nativity Thread]].'' 
 
''Then Rwest81 did apologize for ruining the surprise, and EdtheCabinet did accept her apology and harmony was restored.'' 
 
''Rwest81 tried to tempt Justnet to the chair by pointing out the lustrous bunny ears that had been stapled upon it, but Justnet claimed it was unappealing for [[Reasons]] and that she had an allergy to bunny ears besides.'' 
 
''EdTheCabinet protested that bunny ears are universal décor and did take up the Holy Stapler and begin to staple. Rwest81 did also take up the Holy Stapler and soon produced the first image of Bunny Staplus: [[Charlie with Bunny Ears]].'' 
 
''Soon after, Rwest81 did prove that EdtheCabinet was correct in his assertion that bunny ears are universal by stapling ears to his [[cabinet]].'' 
 
''[[TwistedStitcherFGE]] did then join the merriment by commenting upon the stapled image of Charlie and Justnet reversed her opinion of Bunny Ears stating that they made [[Charlie]] more festive than before.'' 
 
''Rwest81 did then turn the stapler upon herself, bedecking herself with stapled bunny ears. The holiday was close to being fully formed.'' 
 
''Justnet and Rwest81 did celebrate the new festivity of their ears and Rwest81 did utter the fateful words “Bunny Staplus” and the [[Cpaag|CPAAGg]] holiday was born into being with a celebratory stapling upon the chest of [[Bowen]] whose impressive cleavage now sports the ears of Staplus with a bell between.'' 
 
''And the First Prophet, edthecabinet did [[Blingee the CPaAG Nativity]]. And it was good.''</blockquote>
 
'''See index: [[Bunny Staplus Index]]'''

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Holidays by Month

2021-07-11T19:20:39Z

Oddmin:

== Holidays by Month ==

* [[January]]
* [[February]]
* [[March]]
* [[April]]
* [[May]]
* [[June]]
* [[July]]
* [[August]]
* [[September]]
* [[October]]
* [[November]]
* [[December]]

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[[Main Page]] | [[Holiday List]] | [[Holidays by Season]] | [[Holidays by Month]] | [[Substituted Holidays]]

Main Page

2021-07-11T19:06:19Z

Oddmin: Reverted edits by MediaWiki default (talk) to last revision by imported>Admin

== Welcome to the Substitute Holidays Wiki ==

Do you find yourself frustrated with the holidays? Do you not celebrate [[Christmas]], [[Hanukkah]], [[Kwanzaa]], or [[Solstice|Winter Solstice]], but still want to take part in the winter festivities? Are you not religious, but still want to be included in the annual gift-giving celebration? Are you just visiting the US during the [[Fourth of July]], but still like the idea of backyard barbecuing with friends? Are you religious, but feel a need for a secular option? Do you like the idea of [[Thanksgiving]], but not the hype? Do you loathe [[Columbus Day]], but still want an excuse to enjoy a day off work? Are you looking for a new tradition? Do you just not like the majorly celebrated holidays?

Whatever the reason, SubstituteHolidays is here to serve. Within these pages, you'll find holiday substitutions, their history, traditions, rituals, and everything you need to take part in a celebration without celebrating what everyone else is celebrating. Whether you feel like celebrating the birth of [[Wang Sorenson]] or partaking in [[Chartreuse Tuesday]] shopping, you'll find it here!

=== Quick Index: ===

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* [[Holidays by Month]]
* [[Holidays by Season]]
* [[Substituted Holidays]] - Classics like Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc
* [[Holiday List]] - List of holiday substitutes A-Z
* [[The Index to Wang]]